March 11, 2008 - dirty messy things
I suppose I simply cannot deny it anymore: that tendency of mine towards self-sobotage. Why else would I have gone and persisted on doing something I knew would muck things up between me and Certain Person B? Was it some sort of sick enjoyment at depravity and misery and drama? That constant need to wallow in self-pity that I thought I had grown out of? (But apparently I haven't)
I had an inkling he liked her, somebody else, but I was never quite sure. He kept denying it and denying it and I just kept pushing it and pushing it and finally he caved and said that yes he did. And something broke. I wanted to cry. I don't know what I was expecting. I knew it, didn't I? I damn well suspected it, but I just wanted to be proven wrong. What the hell was I expecting? That'd he'd go, "No. It's you that I like." How ridiculous. How naive. How silly of me to hope.
Then he asked why I cared so much.
I couldn't answer honestly. How could I? So I resorted to being a bitch and ruined things even more by being incredibly bitter and sarcastic.
"I already told you I like her, I said I like a lot of people."
"Because your feelings are soooo complex, right?"
"They are! Don't you patronize me!"
"So are everybody's!"
"It's not that kind of like --"
"Is it love?"
"I was about to say that it's the same kind of "like" I have for you."
"Oh, and what is that?"
"Okay, I'm starting to like her more than you right now."
Part of me is embarassed and ashamed.
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April 10, 2008 - Atonement |
| Posted by mostlyharmless |
Atonement is amazing, both book and movie. Usually I'd recommended reading the book before seeing the film, but this one would have to be the opposite. Both are some of the best I've seen/read. You don't want to watch the movie with family members (due to awkwardness with extreme sexual inferences/scenes) or with people who shouldn't see movies with that rating (for the same reason, pretty much. It's extremely mature). Afterwards, definitely go out and get the book. Ian McEwan's writing is beautiful, but some parts are sort of hard to follow unless you know what he's talking about (hence watching the movie first). And unless you're up to scratch on your World War II information, reading near a computer for easy Wikipedia access would be a good idea.
That was a lot of unnecessary information answering a simple question. Well, enjoy. |
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